Last post of the year! I hope 2024 has been a great year for you all.
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To close out the year,
, a close friend and director at Amazon, shares his methods of saying “No” at his job. Learning how to say “No” is especially important as you plan 2025. I published a similar article on ’s High Growth Engineer if you want to read my take.Without further ado, I’ll let Omar take over from here.
I used to think that saying 'Yes' to every opportunity was the only path to success.
This definition led me to a relentless pursuit of achievement, where 'No' was a word that simply didn't exist in my vocabulary. However, it wasn't long before this mindset led to a perpetual cycle of overcommitment, stress, and an inevitable sense of burnout.
The myth I held onto—that saying yes to everything would accelerate my career—was actually holding me back. It took a toll on my well-being, and as a result, my work quality suffered.
Only when I started embracing the power of 'No' did I begin to unlock higher levels of effectiveness and satisfaction in my career. It wasn't just about turning down requests; it was about affirming my priorities, respecting my limits, and ultimately, contributing more value in areas that truly mattered.
Here are four powerful strategies to leverage the power of 'No':
1/ Don't Overthink It
We overestimate how negatively others will react when we say 'No.'
However, you can be direct, assertive, and kind in your response—there’s no need to overexplain. A simple, clear 'No' with a respectful tone is all it takes.
Story: Early in my tech career as a software developer in the Energy sector, I used to think that if I ever said no to my manager, they would take it negatively. I feared that it would hurt our relationship or even my career prospects.
Thus, I kept saying yes to everything, even when my plate was overflowing. Eventually, I reached the brink of burnout, trying to keep up with all the commitments I had taken on.
A turning point came when my mentor advised me to be transparent with my manager and explained that my current workload was high and I could not afford to take on anything else.
When I finally mustered the courage to do this, I was surprised that my manager understood and appreciated my ownership. We then partnered on prioritization and delegated some of the work to other team members.
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2/ Automated No
Create a list of things you automatically say 'No' to, such as requests that don’t align with your priorities or those that take away from your core responsibilities.
For example, not taking on more mentees - once you've reached the limit of how many you can support in parallel. This reduces the cognitive load of having to rethink each decision.
Story: I used to hesitate to say 'No' to mentorship requests because I’m passionate about helping others. But over time, this led me to overextend myself. That’s when I set up a rule for myself: I would have a fixed number of mentorship slots in my calendar.
Once those slots were full, I’d automatically tell people, “I’ve reached the maximum number of mentees I can support while maintaining quality mentorship. Please check back in a few months.” This system removed the guilt and allowed me to focus on the mentees I had without feeling overwhelmed.
3/ Delayed Response
Instead of immediately agreeing to something, ask for time to check how it fits into your schedule. Even a few minutes of delay can help you express more intention and clarity in your response.
Story: A colleague approached me with an idea to pilot a new tool and asked for my support. My response used to be an immediate yes. I always wanted to be helpful by contributing to new projects. However, I quickly realized that saying yes without thinking it through had led me to overwork myself. I could no longer deliver my core responsibilities.
This time, I decided to pause. I said, “This sounds like a great idea. Let me check my current commitments and schedule, and I’ll get back to you shortly.” Taking just an hour to review my priorities made all the difference.
I could check my deliverables list and calendar and assess whether I could accommodate this. This approach also eliminated the awkwardness of having to give a direct and immediate response.
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4/ Counter-Offer
If you’re interested in helping but the request doesn’t fit, make a counteroffer based on what works for you. This could involve adjusting timelines or scope, delegating part of the task, or offering help in a different capacity.
Story: I was recently invited to talk at a Fintech conference. It was both an honor and a privilege, but its timing landed right in the middle of some critical deliverables at work. Instead of saying ‘No,’ I countered it with, “I’d love to participate, but I can’t prepare a full talk right now. Would you consider having me on a panel instead? That way, I can still share insights without requiring as much prep time.”
They agreed, and it turned out better than expected. I ended up being interviewed after the panel, where I shared additional insights, and was re-invited for next year’s instance of this conference.
Conclusion
It will be awkward to say ‘No’ at first, but with much practice, it’ll become your default response.
Adopting them will enhance your career trajectory and positively impact your personal life. I hope that embracing these four strategies will work as well for you as they have for me.
Amazing article. Loved it. Being an Amazonian myself, I can relate how much of these I can apply to my job :)
Thank you Sidwyn for the opportunity to share my thoughts on this important topic.